The only way is Essex

I introduce to you: my latest category "The only way is Essex". I still feel that Essex is "really fresh" and "bang on trend" so I might as well "jump on the bandwagon". (When I use "quotation marks" it means I am quoting no one in particular, just using "popular phrases" from "the media". I like it!)

My Essex is nothing like the TOWIE we know and love (?) though so I guess that's where that likeness ends. But I do reside in Essex. On the outskirts of London, on the outskirts of Essex, call it what you want. The best of both worlds. I mean, "the best of both worlds". Many Londoners would consider my ends as being located at the world's end (not the pub in Camden, but literally), bit I think it's GREAT! I have a tube, I'll have you know. It's three stops from the end on the green line (the bloody longest line, I should think), and I also have an overground train station, so "excellent for commuters". Not that I'm a commuter, but I've reached a point where it's really about the house, rather than the location. Having said that, we have just relocated from Iceland city (not the country - the supermarket chain) to an area that has a Waitrose. My dream come true! We're oh so middle class these days. We own an amazing 4 bedroom "property" (also known as a house). We're oh so happy, and you can even see Canary Wharf from the top floor, as well as the nature reserve and horse fields that's behind our house. I told you - best of both worlds.

It ain't Brentwood, I'll give you that, but personally Brentwood ain't all that anyway. The houses might be all nouveau riche and fancy, but other than The Sugar Hut, there's nothing there (not that I would ever go to Sugar Hut - or that they would ever let me in...). Not even a Waitrose. I could never live without a Waitrose. No, my Essex is much better. 7 mins to Westfield on the fast train, 7 minutes to horse shit and farms in the other direction. "I wouldn't want it any other way."